Mothers Day Musings

This morning, whilst trying to get ready before our guests arrived, with a screaming Sophie wanting my attention, I got thinking. This was no way to celebrate motherhood. I had a house to tidy, a meal for 12 to cook, a husband who was not feeling his best, children being asked to stop what they were doing to help out, and no time for each other.

We are made to think that "Mothers Day" is about mothers having a day off, putting their feet up, being waited upon, receiving gifts. I was beginning to feel resentful that I wasn't experiencing the putting up of feet, being waited on, etc, but in fact was racing around like a headless chicken!

Then I stopped, took stock of what I had. I am not only a mother, but also a daughter, wife, woman, grand-daughter. We were going to be having a family day, to include parents-in-law, aunt and uncle, my brother and mum, along with our own family. Yes, it would be hectic, yes, I would be tired by the end of the day, but what a wonderful way to celebrate family, togetherness, and a part of that is mother-hood, as well as father-hood, child-hood etc. I know the effort was appreciated by everyone, we all had a lovely day, despite the chaos at the beginning of the day, and so what if I wasn't able to rest, really I was in my element!

A crisis in confidence

I love reading other people's blogs. I love having a record of what has been happening in our life. But... I have lots of ideas to put into a blog, and then I think that I am just showing off, being proud of some of the things we have done. Part of me thinks that we should be proud, but another part of me thinks it should just be life. So what if I grow some vegetables, or make some clothes, or we enjoy going for walks, or a whole host of other things. Perhaps I feel we are nothing special, or we should just get on with life, but then I look at other blogs and find inspiration, or celebration in the small things of life. Could my blog be like that? I doubt it.

I want to show life how it is, like how I neglected the fish, and one died. Or in trying to get the boys attention I shouted so loud that the dog was cowering in the corner. This is the true life, the making, growing and nice stuff is intermittent. I would like it to take up a greater portion of our lives, but it simply isn't reality.

What purpose should a blog serve? If it is just a record of life, then pictures alone would do that, why publish them? If it is to show off, then perhaps I should blog away. But to inspire, that is quite an aim, one I feel I am not worthy to do. If I go quiet for a while you will understand why. If I start blogging again you will know my confidence has returned. But in the mean time I will enjoy reading everyone elses inspirational blogs.

Sorry for the negative ramblings, but as I say, I'm having a crisis in confidence.