Wednesday 29 July 2009

A crisis in confidence

I love reading other people's blogs. I love having a record of what has been happening in our life. But... I have lots of ideas to put into a blog, and then I think that I am just showing off, being proud of some of the things we have done. Part of me thinks that we should be proud, but another part of me thinks it should just be life. So what if I grow some vegetables, or make some clothes, or we enjoy going for walks, or a whole host of other things. Perhaps I feel we are nothing special, or we should just get on with life, but then I look at other blogs and find inspiration, or celebration in the small things of life. Could my blog be like that? I doubt it.

I want to show life how it is, like how I neglected the fish, and one died. Or in trying to get the boys attention I shouted so loud that the dog was cowering in the corner. This is the true life, the making, growing and nice stuff is intermittent. I would like it to take up a greater portion of our lives, but it simply isn't reality.

What purpose should a blog serve? If it is just a record of life, then pictures alone would do that, why publish them? If it is to show off, then perhaps I should blog away. But to inspire, that is quite an aim, one I feel I am not worthy to do. If I go quiet for a while you will understand why. If I start blogging again you will know my confidence has returned. But in the mean time I will enjoy reading everyone elses inspirational blogs.

Sorry for the negative ramblings, but as I say, I'm having a crisis in confidence.

6 comments:

  1. I feel like this all the time, and although I have always kept a diary I had only just started blogging as I'm not sure whether I have anything to say that others want to hear, and I'm certainly not as inspirational as the other wonderful blogs that I read. But I chose to start blogging for me, to capture what we do everyday because the time I spend writing my blog makes me think about our day and when we have a bad day it gives me fresh purpose for the next day and when we have a good day I can revel in those moments as sometimes I let them pass me by. It is so easy with so many other wise and inspirational women out there to feel low in confidence and so tbh I try not to think too much of what any readers think about what I post, it's often the first things that come into my head when I sit down after a day or two. This is a bit ramblely but I think what I am trying to say is I started a blog for me not others, it's fanastic to get comments and to know there are like minded people out there, so that is a great bonus, but really it's just my online diary as it's easier to combine words and pictures. On a different note I love reading your blog as it's so real so if you do need a break, come back soon. Huge Hugs Clair x

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  2. I know what you mean - I go through these periods too. I like reading your blogs - they are aboout everyday life - a bit like catching up with a friend on the phone. I read some wonderful arty inspirational blogs which contain lots of arty photos of cool goings on in the house or family and sometimes i wonder if the writer goes through their day trying to create'bloggable' scenarios or events instead of living their lives and enjoying the moment and enjoying their children - instead of following them around with a camera all the time.
    That said, blogging has made me more interested in photography now and i do tend to take pictures of what is going on much more.
    Maybe it is othing special, but it is very special. Hope all that makes sense. xxx

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  3. Big hugs - I hope your feeling a little better than when you wrote your post. I write my blog for me primarily, with thoughts of others far in the background. I've seen so many blogs 'ruined' as they try and put what they think other people want to read, and by doing so actually lose the 'realness' of their ramblings. I love to read your blog because it is real and inspiring, but it should be for you (with whatever you want to put in it) and no-one else xxxxxx

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  4. A blog in my view should be just stuff you want to put up there for you and your family, if others enjoy reading it then great. I much prefer hearing about real-life things than things that have been done to blog about (I think Jacqui put it better than me - "bloggable scenarios").
    My camera is rarely not in my bag and I snap loads of photos, many rubbish ones for all the good ones, but I love capturing moments.
    Hope you feel you can continue blogging, can't wait to see your tye-dye work, and I'd love to see a photo of that knitted dress you completed! Hugs, hope to see you back soon.

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  5. (hugs) I am happy to read to you being you - good days, bad days, moans and ramblings and those beautiful children of yours. I hope you feel better about that today, because you are pretty amazing and I'll miss you!

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  6. Hmmmmm. I think the value is the sweetness of connection. Blogs make me smile at humanity. My heart warms when people tell the truth. It's almost as if technological communication is a new way to build community in our hearts. It makes me LIKE people when I see their photographs, often messy and sometimes quite perfect. I like hearing about peoples' days and their thoughts and opinions. People who stay with blogging are people who are kind, good, interested in others, and writers. Not everyone writes or wants to. That's okay, but I like connecting with the writers. I hope you'll keep on. What you have to say is original because it comes from YOU and no one else is you. And I honestly don't know if we really understand "worth" anyway. It just is, it blesses, it reveals and illuminates - and that's good. I like it. I read and I don't judge blogs. I just realized that. Hmmmm. Thank you for a thoughtful and straight forward post.

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xx