A stern talking to...

... is what is needed for me. I seem to be a bit down more than I am up at the moment. Silly little things like the tumble dryer not working, and trying to sort it out by myself, have ended up with somebody looking at it for 2 minutes, and quoting over £200 to get it fixed (but they happen to have one much cheaper in their shop). So now I feel taken advantage of, and like a silly little girl!

Having looked after a dog in the summer holidays we now have a flea infestation. I have found 7 on me alone in the last 24 hours. So I am faced with spraying insecticide everywhere, which I hate having to do, but it is getting me so stressed finding these b*ggers everywhere I cannot relax in my own home, and cannot wait for more gentler methods to take effect.

We never seem to have enough provisions in the house, this is mainly due to the fact that Sophie is so hard to take to the shops. But I am going to have to bite the bullet today, as we are completely out of toilet roll, and that is one thing we cannot do without!

Despite me trying to be organised, everything seems to be taking so much longer at the moment. It is my own fault for taking on so many things when I already have enough on my plate ie 4 children! But I do not want to give up anything like the allotment, my cello, breastfeeding support.

So what to do?

I know many people facing far greater worries, and far greater problems at the moment. So I am grateful I only have these silly things to deal with. I am going to face these things head on, deal with them, stop thinking about them and start doing something about it, and try to be in a slightly happier mood for when the boys return home from school!

What a difference a day makes!

The chickens are back to normal, with us not having to throw away the eggs.

I have my eye on this patch of lush green nettles (about the only thing the chickens won't devour in the garden!) for nettle soup.

My long awaited parsnip seeds have germinated (I nearly threw them out, thinking I had another thing to add to my list of veggies that won't grow for me, as Mum has always germinated the parsips in the past!)

A choc-abloc mini greenhouse.

Rhubarb in a nappy bucket!

And yet more sowings, all done by Ethan and Alec, of sweetcorn, pumpkin, courgette, leeks, sunflowers, and purple sprouting.

I could get used to this sun and warmth, I hope it stays around for a while. Even though we were housebound today (due to the front door being stubborn, and not closing!) the sun lifted our spirits no-end, as well as getting our hands in the earth. Making us feel as high as a soaring bird, but grounded, all at the same time.

One step forwards, two steps back

After having had a successful weekend in sorting out more "stuff" either redistributing it into relevant rooms, or getting rid of it, and the fluttering of feelings that it really is possible for us to have an ordered house, rather than boxes of things, long forgotten about, sitting around the place. We then got hit by more bugs!

Luke had to come home from school early on Monday. By the evening I was feeling ill, and then by Tuesday morning Stuart had to come from work, soon after arriving there! So any good work was soon undone by nobody feeling up to doing anything, and it's amazing how quickly mess accumulates again! To top it off Sophie seems to have a perpetual snotty nose at the moment, turning her cheeks bright red. So Sophie is trying a dairy free diet, and hopefully it will make some difference. Luke was off school all week, but did muster the strength to take his grade 2 drum exam.

Fortunately, Friday everyone was feeling well, which is a good job, as it was Ethan's 6th birthday. More about that later.

The general feeling though at the moment is rather depressed, as Stuart and I feel so run down at the moment, a kind of apathy has set in.

Oh, and to top it all off, the chickens gave me a scare on Tuesday, after I found them picking over the carcass of a rat. My worry was that if the rat had been poisoned, that they too would succomb. And after speaking to the vet who gave me rather in depth details of how they would die depending on the poison used, I dreaded letting them out the following morning. If they had been poisoned, they would have been dead within 24 hours, it really made you think though about how actions have ripples beyond the intended action. And whilst I never would use anything like poisons, there are many other aspects of our lives where the intended action has far reaching consequences, from how we speak to each other, to the foods we eat.

So with such a realisation, I am going to try and look at things more positively, and pull myself, and the rest of us out of this sickly rutt we have found ourselves in. Sophie has loved having someone to share her passion of books with, with somebody always sitting around feeling sorry for themselves! I have started knitting a cardigan for Sophie with some wool given me by a friend. Ethan was invested at Beavers this week, and was very proud of himself. Luke is feeling confident about the results of his drum exam. And we have 2 weeks to live as fast or as slow as our bodies need. Onwards and upwards!

Perfect!

Yesterday evening, we did the advent candle and book, then the boys settled down to play on the Wii for a while, whilst I made blueberry muffins and tea. The fact that all three boys were playing together was in itself lovely. No interruptions from friends calling, the darkness outside wrapping itself around our house like a blanket.

Sophie was beginning to get a little tired as she hadn't had a nap that afternoon, and once again, I was a little late with tea. I felt bad having to call on the boys to try to entertain her whilst I got the pasta bake in the oven, but they rose to the challenge. I had expected just Luke to occupy her, but all three of them decided to turn off the Wii and got the wooden blocks and the farm set out and entertained her well beyond the time I needed. In fact, Sophie decided she'd had enough and the boys carried on playing with her toys.

This is what family life is all about, time, quiet time, working together. This is just to acknowledge that it does work sometimes (not all the time by any stretch of the imagination!), and for that I am grateful!

A positive post at long last!

Reading through the last month or so, there has been alot of negativity, well not so much negativity but posts of concern. I thought I'd better rectify this, and look at the things that have been happening, often in the background, but should be acknowledged.

Alec has been voted as vice-chairperson on the class council. He was soooooo chuffed. He had prepared a speech to give in the pre-election build up, and was looking forward to the counting of the votes. He had a landslide victory, and was, of course, over the moon!

Ethan is doing football after school, which makes him feel very grown up.

Luke, despite being unhappy at school has had a lovely weekend at home, playing, helping Stuart with clearing out the garage and just relaxing.

I have been doing some crafting. I knitted a pumpkin hat, that was supposed to be for a newborn baby, as a gift for a friends baby, but ended up WAY too big, so Sophie has acquired it! I will have to rejig things to make another hat quite a bit smaller. The little baby who it is intended for is Joel, who was born to Paul and Sue on the 24th September.

I've also made a lavender wreath, more by accident than anything. I started sticking bits of lavender in one of the willow rings I made a while ago, and it just happened. I found some ribbon to finish it off, and now have to find somewhere to display it. I am rather pleased with myself as it looks really rather good, for an accident!

Sophie... well her sole purpose seems to be to empty things! She will empty any box, drawer, cupboard, and then try to sit in it! I don't know whether to laugh or cry sometimes, as she is obviously enjoying herself, but the trail of devastation is unprecedented! One of her sweeter moments is her singing "twinkle, twinkle little star" with the actions! It has definitely been "her" song, after the 40 minute drive back from Worcester one time singing it over and over again in an attempt to keep her quiet!

As for Stuart, despite an awful cough (thank goodness he didn't have that whilst he was recovering from his op!) is enjoying being able to hold Sophie again, and is now making inroads into getting things put away, ie loft contents back in storage in the loft, "junk" in what will eventually be Sophie's room being sorted through, and clearing out the garage. It has been bugging him for so long, but has been unable to do anything about it, so I think he is relieved more than anything to be at last able to address it!

And the lottie and the chickens are still producing well. A bumper crop of apples and plums, which is stretching my culinary skills as I'm the only one who likes stewed fruit! And Betty (the temperamental layer) is laying again, for now!

If anybody has got this far, well done! But it shows me how much we have to be grateful for, and after the last month, I really am truly grateful!